Moving Forward

I had writer’s block. Stupid writer’s block! Many times I’m unsure of where things fall into place for me and writing helps to focus my thoughts and inject into others what God has put in my spirit. There are also times when nothing comes to me. The thoughts are there but are none too focused or, as of yet, unperceived in the focus. And, that is where I sit now. My thoughts are raging but I have no real focus to get those thoughts together. Stupid writer’s block.

Sometimes you just have to take a step forward. Whether that step is a big step or a small step, it’s forward motion. The steps that you found so hard to take get easier after that. So I took the first step to getting past the block, I started writing. I stared at this blank page and typed what I saw and what I felt in my head.

The genius of things that are difficult is the ability of those situations to help you redefine what you are. They test us and require us to do things that we’ve never done to achieve a specified goal. Either you have the tenacity to continue to press through the difficulty or you don’t. There are things that can hinder you, distract you, or send you into a tailspin because they’re not going the way you intended. Its times like those that you have to focus, dig your heels in and press to take that next step. Then after that step, you take another one. The steps get easier after that. Once the fear of taking that first step is lifted, all things are possible.

I remember being afraid to move forward. I had a wonderful relationship that went bad and I was afraid to move forward thinking that I would never be able to find a man as amazing as he was. How could I? He was and still is one in a million and he set the standard so high that no one was able to reach it. However, I had to move past the past. I had to take the steps necessary to heal. The first step of letting go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through but I did it. My Pastor says, “When the pain of staying the same is more than the pain of change, you’ll change.” I had to change…

It reminds me of pushing a car that for one reason or another isn’t running. You try to get it started but it won’t run for you. You finally give up, turn the key to the on position, throw it in neutral, let someone else steer if possible, and push as hard as you can to get it rolling to where you need it to get to until it can be repaired. After that first push to get it rolling, the pushing gets much easier. The most effort is spent to get it moving from a standstill. Nine times out of ten, the pushing once it’s rolling isn’t as laborious as at the start.

More times than I can count, I’ve had to step outside of myself to heal some things and keep moving forward. I’ve had that stall happen to me and I couldn’t seem to get myself started again. My personal repairs, band-aids, or fix-it’s didn’t work and I had no other alternative than to step outside of the problem and push past it. I was afraid sometimes to even try to start because who knew what could happen? Would I be able to push past it, what was it going to cost me to fix this problem, and would it even be repairable? That fear would quickly negate my need to get past the problem. It would render me so blind to anything other than the problem that I couldn’t see that all I had to do was step outside and push. I had to learn to counteract the fear or I would always focus on the problem as opposed to the solution.

Somewhere along my life, I’ve learned one of my most personal and valuable lessons: If it can’t kill you, what are you afraid of? Most fears are based in a fear of death. Once you learn that it can’t kill you, you stop being afraid. Moving forward wasn’t going to kill me so I stopped being afraid. I finally started to push and shockingly enough, the pushing wasn’t as bad as my fear had made it to be.

To keep moving forward after pain, is difficult but, all growth is. You have to make the decision to keep living or let yourself be suspended by problems that just need a push to get them moving again. Don’t let fear freeze you and arrest your future. Just get out and push. Once you’ve started pushing and the pushing suddenly becomes easier, don’t be shocked. God has stepped in and picked up that weight for you. You only have to trust Him and make the first step. Fear and faith can’t occupy the same space at the same time. You have to choose which one will occupy your space. I guess you already know what my choice was.

I’m still afraid of spiders, though. They’re creepy…

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