I try not to write when I'm angry or perturbed about something. My thoughts come out way too left field and haphazard. In rereading things that I've written when Ive been upset, I've noticed a tendency to associate too many things outside of what my actual issue is. It's not strange. People are a culmination of their experiences and I'm not different. However, my thinking in how I see those experiences has been changing lately. This discovery has put me on a path that gives me pause in choosing a feeling when I may be upset. I tend to breathe, mull over, give it the benefit of the doubt, and then choose if it's something that truly should garner my anger. Most things, I find, can be summed up in being a form of "righteous indignation" at the situation and not necessarily for the people involved.
I've said all this to say, in my contemplative and deep thinking way, I am irritated. I'm so deeply irritated that I can say that I'm miffed!!! That is all.
I can't even explain the entirety of it and I don't want to. I believe in a few things, though. I believe that in my irritation lies the key to solving the problem. I believe that all irritations are character building opportunities. I believe that no matter the level of anger or irritation, it's nothing that lasts.
As a woman who had a temper that was easily ignited, I took what I saw as a flaw and used what I knew as my precursors and antecedents to change my thinking and to change my mind. The transition was difficult but all things are possible for them that believe. I learned well my personal triggers, taught myself how not to let those triggers rule me, and how to trust God for the lessons I didn't realize needed to be learned.
For most people, self-correction is a struggle. I've seen destructive forces take over a person's life because they refused to correct themselves or to be corrected. My suggestion is to look at yourself hard and believe that God can correct anything. Do not agree with every one's assessment of who you are but trust God's assessment of who He made you to be. People are flawed and may have no idea of what potential is on the inside of you. Trust what the heart God put inside you tells you about what you are and what your personal truth is. In the long run, no matter how God sees you, you have to see yourself as a creation of greatness. You, ultimately, have to fix what you believe to be a problem. Man can enlighten you to a behavior issue but the majority of the time, you know within what your own issues are whether you wish to admit it or not. Even before all this, you must have a relationship with God. Spend some time getting to know Him and who you are. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Nothing comforts me more than knowing that God knows, above all, who I am.
For this reason, I can say, I'm irritated and know exactly that it means, that I'm irritated! I'm allowed to be that way at times.
No comments:
Post a Comment